My workouts so far

A week or so into January I found a heart rate monitor I bought last year before all my medical issues started. Since I know that if my heart rate reaches a certain level I start having asthma issues, I decided to experiment working out based on my heart rate. If it got too high (greater than 150 bpm) then I’d rest until it slowed down to about 130ish. So far this has worked wonderfully when I do HIIT workouts at home. After about a week, I wasn’t using my inhaler as much. The heart rate monitoring doesn’t work so well in the climbing gym when 80% of the way up a route, my heart rate goes into the red zone. On climbing days, I’ve ended up in a zone where I can hardly breathe. There has to be a way for me to see what my heart rate is while on the wall without bringing my phone up with me!

I wasn’t good at recording every workout at first. Plus, I don’t record when I have a rest day, or do a full body deep stretch, or yoga-ish stuff.

Sometime between 1/15/22 and 1/24/22. I also did 2 climbing sessions and a day of pull ups and push ups, so I didn’t record those.
Climbing session on a Saturday

The Year of Mind, Body, and… Wallet

Without really meaning to, I’ve decided to try to make this a year (or more) of mind, body, and wallet. Meaning that during the same time frame I’ve somehow decided to 1) focus more fully on fitness, 2) read at least 10-20 books of “literature” for 2022, and 3) limit my spending.

The fitness backstory: 2021 was a year of surprise medical problems. From the months of March to May in 2021, during what I felt was a giant positive upswing in my fitness journey (I was looking fit, toned, and strong; I was using my Olympic weight set), I started bleeding. Like, a lot. I was hemorrhaging. I had to go to the Emergency Room twice because the first time, I’d lost a quarter of my blood volume and the second time, I was well on my way to losing half my blood. Both ended up in hospital stays. I got put on different medicines to try to stop the bleeding. They never worked completely. In May, I underwent a hysterectomy and everything that was wrong in that part of my body was taken out. And after I healed (3 whole months for full healing), I had to deal with weakened muscles that ended up in back pain for which I went to physical therapy. After a few more months, I finally felt ready to start my fitness journey over. But during these months, I had gotten out of shape and weak. I wanted to be strong again. I really started rock climbing regularly and did some light weights to start, but it was in December that I felt strong enough to really take my 20- and 30-pound dumbbells seriously. So for 2022 I decided to finish what I’d started 1.5 years ago.

Reading: 2021 was also a year of loss. Like I mentioned before, I inherited a few old books from someone who was gone too soon due to Covid and never visiting the doctor, like, ever. Reading Ulysses (I’m now halfway through it) has ignited within me a desire to read more literary fodder, as in anything that’s not a “quick airport book from a tiny newsstand.” The types of books that you don’t have to think about. I do enjoy the relaxed non-heavy read. But, it’s not like I’ve never read anything substantial. I went through a beatnik phase and a William Faulkner phase. I had a Tom Robbins phase. I took Philosophy classes in college (which forced me to read Plato, Aristotle, Hume, etc.) and I read stuff like Bertrand Russell for fun. My high school had me read a lot of classics because it was 3 years of Honors English and 1 of AP English. But there were still books that were out of my reach or kind of slippery because I was simply too ADD to focus on them. But now I’m 2 decades older, my ADD is controlled, and I have the time and the life knowledge to tackle books I’ve missed. Which books? Well, I’m not sure yet. There are lists of books all over the place. My first thought is to balance the reading so that I’m not reading War and Peace and Anna Karenina at the same time, that there is a difference in time, place, author, and culture. I’d also like to read across genres and points of view. Variety is the spice of life, they say.

So far this year I’ve finished Circe by Madeline Miller and Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. (One of those was deeper than the other.) I’ve got Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino*, All Systems Red by Martha Wells*, Dune, and Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier* on rotation. And of course, Ulysses. From the library I have one Neal Stephenson book, Fall, or Dodge in Hell. On my “next” list is A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, The Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu*, and Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller. On my bookshelf are Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon, and the writings of H. P. Lovecraft. There are even more books in my Kindle and on my ebook “to read” list. My intention is to pick books that can make me pause and think, but sometimes, I’m not sure every book I pick will do that. Circe was a lot simpler read than I had thought; it was good but not as dense as I thought it would be. (I’d recommend Galatea by Madeline Miller as a more thoughtful read). In any case, I’m sure I’ll write about the things I read.

The wallet: Suddenly one day I pondered if I could do an entire year of “no spending”. This was after the splurging I did in November and December to set up my workstation at home with 2 4k monitors and a docking station. I also bought a bookshelf. Not to mention everyone’s holiday gifts. Then one day after Christmas, it hit me that I could try to do a “no spend” month where I didn’t buy anything on impulse or that I didn’t really need. I wondered how much money I could save. I thought about what were “approved” spends and “bad” spends — and if you’ve never thought of this before, it is an enlightening exercise. For people doing this, the first thing they must do is to make lists of what’s a “need” versus a “want”, what’s okay to spend on, and what isn’t. (One can look up “no spend year” and find a million links and social media about the topic.) I read this Forbes article to start.

What’s nice about the No Spending thing is that it’s personalized, for the most part. I, for instance, do not need the latest game console or video game, because nothing I do depends on that. Someone else might. Someone else might not need shampoo and conditioner, but I do, or else my hair turns into a giant, out-of-control tumbleweed. I can broadly put down in the “approved” list things like medical bills, medicines, things for health maintenance, insurance, and things for health improvements. Other “approved” spending includes food (nothing carb-loaded or deep fried), gifts (dollar limits depending on what the gift is for), car maintenance, house maintenance, vacation, and replacements for things I already own if they are used up or worn down, like soap. It’s easy to write “No late-night Amazon browsing” and remember it, hence, cutting out the possibility of ordering something half-asleep. Also, it’s easy to remember “no more clothes” and “no impulse buying”. This past week, this “resolution” has reared up at Target, Best Buy, and the grocery store, successfully convincing me to not buy something just for the sake of buying it. It was both difficult and empowering. Once January is over, I’ll try February. I’m hoping that eventually, this will turn into a habit and my wallet will be happier for it.

*Books that are ebook or library loans will have priority.

Happy Holidays

Sorry for the long gaps in posting here. I’ve had a birthday, then Thanksgiving, and was preparing for the holidays (2 days left!). Also, work seems to be ramping up a little bit due to everyone doing things at the very last minute.

Here are a few things I looked up this week:

The pharmacokinetics and the pharmacodynamics of cannabinoids. (for work. seriously!)

Lennox-Gastaut syndrome.


The College Board: 101 Great Books Recommended for College-Bound Readers. This list is a bit outdated in parts, and it does not include a lot of current (21st century) literature. This list is also not very diverse in terms of culture.

The 21st Century’s Greatest Books (according to the BBC). I’m so glad White Teeth made it on there; I read it when it first came out and thought it was awesome, but it seemed like no one else read it or heard of it. I read Wolf Hall when it first came out, loved it, and everyone liked it as well. Strange how these things are.

How to Make the Best Sugar Cookies. It calls for a lot of cream of tartar, and I recommend to put that whole amount started in the recipe in. I didn’t because we barely had enough of it, and upon baking, my cookies spread out too much. I probably didn’t put all that flour in as well because flour is messy and I got some of it on the counter and on myself.

How to Make Peanut Sauce (as with recipe blogs, the recipe is at the bottom of the post). I don’t like ginger so I didn’t put that in. I also didn’t have limes, so I substituted for lemon juice. Sometimes people add some sort of spice in this. I don’t like spicy, so I didn’t put any chili flakes or sriracha sauce in. (I think I might be part supertaster because I can taste every ingredient in this after I made it). The result was pretty good still. Maybe it’s one of those recipes that you only put in things that you like after the soy sauce and honey.

NYT’s Royal Icing recipe. I had to add some water to this recipe because the amount of wet materials in the recipe wasn’t enough to make the whole thing manageable.

The Best Books Since 2000.

Some clowns and firefighters get into a fight at a whorehouse…

True his/story:

In some versions, one of the clowns and one of the firemen came to blows over the services of a particular young lady. In others, one of the firemen knocked the hat off one of the clowns; in still others, one of the clowns cut in line ahead of one of the firemen. Whatever set it off, the result was swift: a gigantic brawl broke out between clowns and firemen. By the time the cops arrived, the clowns had thoroughly beaten the snot out of the firemen, sending two of them to the hospital.

Toronto Circus Riot


I picked up 3 free books from R’s late father 2 weeks ago: The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, Ulysses, and a Hunter S. Thompson book (not Fear and Loathing, which I’ve already read).

I’m 49 pages into Ulysses and I think it’s Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying on steroids. I already have 3 post-it notes for random vocab words (ineluctable?) and notes about what to look for, theme wise, as I read. I love the theme about “home”, “coming home”, “trying to get home yet avoid home” in Ulysses. I feel like everyone has felt that way in their lives, one of those every day things we go through but don’t comment on really. It’s an interesting theme because everything that happens in Ulysses is in one town, and no one travels to another country during the book, so in a way, everyone is in their “home” town for the time being. It can make one think, what is home? How do people go about finding it or creating it?

Anyway, I have 734 more pages left to wade through. I hope it’ll be a pleasant swim!

Accidental Halloween

Last night I went to the local grocery store. This grocery store chain is One of The Best, and that’s from someone who’s been to grocery stores across the US and in Europe. I would say it’s a miniscule step down from Whole Foods (which my city is supposed to get sometime…)

This grocery chain the one where half the teens in town worked at, including me, in high school. I’ve seen this chain grow into something to appreciate over my lifetime. I compared other grocery stores to this one when I traveled around. California and Nevada didn’t have something like this in their town unless you were willing to drive an hour or pay double the price. So growing up with this grocery chain spoiled me. And it even didn’t disappoint last night, when one of the stores had an accidental Halloween, i.e., a black out. This has never happened in the 4 decades of my life. And It was cool. I had a flashlight with me and we shopped by flashlight and backup generator. I would have loved it if some of the staff made it a haunted store, such as on a haunted hayride. Hung up some ghosts and spiderwebs, use spooky fonts…

Travel into intense logic, or sleep

I’ve been enjoying this channel. He does incredibly bonkers Sudoku puzzles that can look psychedelic, not to mention one can learn all sorts of tricks (that I forget right away as soon as I start a puzzle). Tangent: Also, if you add all the digits in a Sudoku puzzle you get 405. He does Sudokus with no starting numbers and weird rules, with 1 starting digit and chess rules, with colors and shapes and themes and so on. And if logic isn’t one’s Forte, the videos are mellow, have no jarring music, and his voice is soothing… Which qualities are great for sleeping!

Online Transcribing for Fun

The past two days I’ve been spending some time at the transcription center of the Smithsonian. I’ve always loved looking at things people wrote in the past, before there were computers. It’s a glimpse into how things were, in a very concrete, this-journal-was-held-by-history kind of way. I was browsing pictures of old journals all over the place, trying to read them. Then, somehow, I found that the general public can go online to help transcribe old writing. Some places, like museums, look for people who can read cursive because most of the old written stuff was in cursive, the further back in time it goes, the fancier the cursive gets. I’ve transcribed tables of rations given in the south from 1867, contracts between land owners and “Freedmen” from 1866, and some of Clara Barton’s writings. I’m going to go back to the Clara Barton stuff, which is at the National Library of Congress; her handwriting was really neat. There are tons of things to transcribe and for those who are bored who want to find something worthwhile to do (make history more accessible) can just go to these sites and start without having to make an account!

So it’s been a year

Wow, it’s been almost a year since I last wrote something in/on here. Time flies when shit’s happening. I’ll get into more detail in later posts when I’m not typing on my phone.

My nieces have been spanning 2 nights per week for 3 weeks at my house with my mom babysitting (I work from home but can’t be too distracted). It’s great but trying to entertain a 9 and 6 year old can be tough without them watching TV. Taking them out almost always costs money because they beg for toys and candy and whatnot and my mom, Grandma, can’t say no too often. I mean there’s a drawer Full of candy just for the girls that they raid when they want. So today will be the last day of the 3 weeks with Grandma, then Mom gets 3 days’ rest before I come back home.

We tried to pack kayaks but the old 1980-something Bronco doesn’t have a rack on it and they were impossible to tie on. So we brought our bikes and bouldering gear. This will be our first time bouldering on real rock so I’m excited to see how that goes! Anyway the back is crammed with our stuff and it feels like a cross-country trip even though it’s just cross-state.

Fitness journey… begin!

If you couldn’t tell, I’ve started on a fitness journey. Today is my 18th day of consistently “working out”. My sister was the one who motivated me when I saw how she was rocking her workouts. She explained how easy some of the exercises were, that one didn’t have to Jane Fonda her way to fitness. And I hated how I looked, felt, and moved. I didn’t feel healthy, and my blood tests weren’t that healthy. My last blood test was borderline diabetic. And there was a slight sibling competition in there, too, because I can’t let my sister be the only fit, strong gal in the family.

In the very beginning, I was basically only working out the body parts that didn’t hurt. I stared with abs, then moved on to arms, back, chest, etc. Eventually, I was just sore every day, and on those days where everything was sore and I couldn’t work on a specific body part, I did an entire body yoga stretch. So far I’ve done some stretching twice weekly with a strength-based workout every day.

The biggest struggle was (is) with my asthma. It gets triggered with uphill hiking, stairs, jumping, and aerobics. I can walk for awhile on flat ground, but if it involves some kind of height, my asthma doesn’t like it. Therefore I looked up every low impact, non-jumping workout on YouTube and in 18 days have found so many workouts. I can’t even list them all. I’m so thankful there is so much for people like me to start with. There are even knee-friendly workouts I can use until I strengthen my legs enough to do those deep, heavy squats.

So I wheezed through the first 10 days. It sucked, literally and figuratively. I was sucking in so much air that first week that I could’ve stood in for a shop vac. There were times I just laid on the ground, sweating, cursing, and wheezing. I didn’t want to do all the easy alternatives, but I had no choice. The most important thing for me was to keep my heart rate under 140 beats per minute, because above that, with exercise, is when the asthma kicks in. At times, I’ve had to stop and wait awhile for my heart rate and wheezing to calm down.

Fortunately, my asthma’s reaction to exercise has eased up. I can now do some things at a harder or more intense level without dying. I’m still not jumping, though.

The results? I still hate how I look. Yet I can feel the difference in my body. I’m stronger, and moving, in general, feels much better. Carrying grocery bags are a lot easier. Going up and down two flights of stairs doesn’t bother me at all. I haven’t had to worry about straining my back whenever I bend over to pick up something. Also, I keep reminding myself that my blood tests will get better: lower LDLs, higher HDLs, lower blood sugar, lower blood pressure.

Mom says she can see a difference. I can see it in my legs and butt, that’s about it. It’s hard to find motivation when I don’t see results everywhere. However, I just don’t want to stop until I’m close to fitness model level. (Well, I shouldn’t stop, but you know what I mean.) I’m keeping on until I can wear a sports bra and yoga pants without shame. I’d like to wear crop tops and tight shirts. I want to wear a body-con dress and rock it. But it’s the blood tests and medical measurements that deeply motivates me.

As for diet, I’m not one one. I hate limiting myself on food. I love food too much to restrict myself to boiled chicken and steamed broccoli every meal. The only things I’m doing is that I’m eating less rice, starch/carbs, and drinking a whey protein and creatine shake every day. I’m also trying to eat a handful of blueberries and a kiwi (with the skin) every day. When I go out, I try to eat at CoreLife Eatery and go for Panera’s salads and soups. Other than that, Mom cooks foods from scratch, and she’s a generally healthy cook (she’ll substitute butter with oil — sometimes this works, sometimes this… doesn’t). I’m not going to avoid ice cream, popcorn, or the random candy car. I will cut down on how much of them I snack on, and instead snack on nuts. I’m also not giving up coffee (when I do have it, which is not that often), my chai tea, or my BodyArmor drinks. And I’m not giving up my dark chocolate.

I like to dance but I hate to wheeze

As if you can’t tell, work is slow right now. I don’t want to jinx myself, but it’s nice to have a brief break once in a while. And I have to say, I know that I’m lucky. I have a full-time job that has insurance, that I can do from home (even before coronavirus), that plays to my strong points of writing and routine. Although lots of things have slowed down for some people in terms of work, for me, well, my work has been like using a fire hose. That means, lots and lots of work over a 2 or 3-week period, followed by 2 or 3 days (at most) of work trickling in slowly, followed by 2 to 3 weeks of more work pouring in. I’ve even had to ask for help more than a few times. So, I’ve been busy most days, all day long, writing. By the end, my brain feels exhausted but my body is not.

What does this all have to do with anything? Well, I want to move more. But, I have two problems: I’m out of shape (desk job for over 3 years now) and when I get motivated to get going in anything resembling aerobically, my asthma says hell-wheeze-o. So, I hate aerobic exercise. I hate sounding like Jane Fonda with a bagpipe. Instead of just entering “exercise” in the YouTube search field, I’ve been looking at dancing and anything-but-aerobic exercise.

Stuff like this:

Or this:

I’d like to learn at these one of these videos… wish me luck.

Can you be re-infected with the novel coronavirus? A case study.

“An 82-year-old male with a history of advanced Parkinson’s disease, insulin-dependent diabetes, chronic kidney disease, and hypertension presented to the emergency department (ED) in early-April 2020 with one week of fever and shortness of breath. He was hemodynamically stable, but tachypneic, hypoxic to 89% on six liters of oxygen via nasal cannula, and febrile to 100.4 °F. Chest x-ray revealed peripheral and basilar patchy opacities concerning for COVID-19 (Fig. 1A). His respiratory status declined in the ED, and he was intubated for hypoxemic respiratory failure and admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU). An RT-PCR for SARS-CoV-2 sent from the ED resulted as positive. He remained intubated in the ICU for 28 days at which point he was successfully extubated and transferred to the medicine floor. He demonstrated clinical and radiographical improvement (Fig. 1B), and in early May 2020 two subsequent RT-PCRs for SARS-CoV-2 sent 24 h apart resulted as negative. On hospital day 39, he was discharged to a rehabilitation facility breathing comfortably on room air.

Ten days post-discharge (48 days after first presentation), he re-presented to the ED with fever and hypoxia. On arrival he was tachypneic, hypotensive to 70/40 mmHg, and tachycardic to 110 beats/min, with a temperature of 99.9 °F and oxygen saturations of 83% on room air which improved to 96% on eight liters via Oxymizer®. Chest x-ray (Fig. 2A) and computed tomography (CT) scan (Fig. 2B) demonstrated bilateral ground glass opacities again concerning for COVID-19, as well as unilateral focal consolidations concerning for bacterial pneumonia. RT-PCR for SARS-CoV-2 sent from the ED again resulted as positive.”

Was this reinfection? Alternate considerations include the patient shedding virus for a longer period or inaccurate testing.

Genetic material from viruses can stay in a host longer even after live virus has been cleared and after symptoms have resolved. Also, how much virus is shed can depend on how sick the patient was.

According to the article, testing can be inaccurate and imprecise, with test sensitivities of 66% to 80%, depending on what instrument is used. Some tests are sensitive to “multiple different gene targets, some of which are very specific to SARS-CoV-2 infection, and some of which are quite sensitive to detection but may be common among many or all SARS-like coronaviruses.”

However, for this case study, “For our patient, while his RT-PCR on re-presentation was in fact positive, the cycle threshold required for detection was relatively high suggesting a low viral load. This could be explained by either prolonged low-level viral shedding, or inadequacy of the submitted sample. Additionally, at the time of representation and repeat positive testing, further assessment of his results revealed that while the gene assessed which was very sensitive for infection but common among all SARS-coronaviruses was detected, the gene assessed which was specific to SARS-CoV-2 was not identified.”

In conclusion, “There is large variability between instruments used for SARS-CoV-2 RT-PCR testing, and many of these results are largely open to interpretation. As in our case, interpreting cycle thresholds and understanding more about the targets of a particular instrument used for SARS-CoV-2 RT-PCR can be crucial for clinicians assessing for the possibility of true reinfection in their patients.”

Duggan NM, Ludy SM, Shannon BC, Reisner AT, Wilcox SR. A case report of possible novel coronavirus 2019 reinfection [published online ahead of print, 2020 Jul 4]. Am J Emerg Med. 2020;S0735-6757(20)30583-0. doi:10.1016/j.ajem.2020.06.079

Prone positioning

“In the setting of critical COVID-19 illness, SARS-CoV-2 infection often results in severe pneumonia and hypoxemia with many patients developing acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS)… Several interventions for ARDS have been evaluated over the last two decades. In particular, prone positioning is one of few therapeutic interventions for patients with severe ARDS that has demonstrated improved oxygenation and a survival benefit. Awake prone positioning outside of the intensive care unit (ICU) is safe and may decrease respiratory rate and improve oxygenation with early application potentially delaying need for intubation in patients with COVID-19… In the ICU setting, prone positioning of patients receiving non-invasive ventilation or high-flow nasal canula, with or without sedation, may also be beneficial. Physiologically, prone positioning may improve matching of ventilation and perfusion, but studies have not linked physiologic changes to clinical outcomes, especially in COVID-19.”

–Shelhamer M, Wesson PD, Solari IL, et al. Prone positioning in moderate to severe acute respiratory distress syndrome due to COVID-19: A cohort study and analysis of physiology. Preprint. Res Sq. 2020; Published 2020 Aug 17. doi:10.21203/

Interesting COVID 19 Research

“The most characteristic symptom of patients with COVID-19 is respiratory distress, and most of the patients admitted to the intensive care could not breathe spontaneously. Additionally, some patients with COVID-19 also showed neurologic signs, such as headache, nausea, and vomiting. Increasing evidence shows that coronaviruses are not always confined to the respiratory tract and that they may also invade the central nervous system inducing neurological diseases. The infection of SARS-CoV has been reported in the brains from both patients and experimental animals, where the brainstem was heavily infected. Furthermore, some coronaviruses have been demonstrated able to spread via a synapse-connected route to the medullary cardiorespiratory center from the mechanoreceptors and chemoreceptors in the lung and lower respiratory airways.”

— Li YC, Bai WZ, Hashikawa T. The neuroinvasive potential of SARS-CoV2 may play a role in the respiratory failure of COVID-19 patients. J Med Virol. 2020;92(6):552-555. doi:10.1002/jmv.25728.

“A 93-year-old woman was admitted with a 10-day history of cough and prostration. Thoracic computed tomography revealed extensive ground-glass opacities in both the lungs. The polymerase chain reaction test of sputum for severe acute respiratory syndrome-coronavirus-2 (SARS-CoV-2) was positive. She was treated with antiviral agents and steroid pulse therapy. However, her oxygen saturation gradually declined, and she died 10 days after hospitalization. The most important autopsy finding was fuzzily segmented diffuse alveolar damage (DAD) that expanded from the subpleural to the medial area. No remarkable changes were observed in organs other than the lungs. Therefore, pneumocytes were suggested as the primary target for SARS-CoV-2, which might explain why coronavirus infectious disease-19 is a serious condition. Thus, early treatment is essential to prevent viral replication from reaching a level that triggers DAD.”

— Okudela K, Hayashi H, Yoshimura Y, et al. A Japanese case of COVID-19: An autopsy report [published online ahead of print, 2020 Aug 13]. Pathol Int. 2020;10.1111/pin.13002. doi:10.1111/pin.13002.

“A relatively high mortality of severe coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is worrying, and the application of heparin in COVID-19 has been recommended by some expert consensus because of the risk of disseminated intravascular coagulation and venous thromboembolism. However, its efficacy remains to be validated.

“Anticoagulant therapy mainly with low molecular weight heparin appears to be associated with better prognosis in severe COVID-19 patients meeting SIC criteria or with markedly elevated D-dimer.”

— Tang N, Bai H, Chen X, Gong J, Li D, Sun Z. Anticoagulant treatment is associated with decreased mortality in severe coronavirus disease 2019 patients with coagulopathy. J Thromb Haemost. 2020;18(5):1094-1099. doi:10.1111/jth.14817.

Perfectly stated…

So at the beginning of this year, I forgot to buy myself a calendar. I rely on my planner and about 3 different calendars to keep on top of things. It works about 90% of the time, and this is a LOT better than the complete chaos of no planning. I took to Amazon and found a calendar by Allie Brosh so I had to get it.

Las time I met with my psychologist, Dr. Cool Dude, he was concerned with how I think about myself and how what I think isn’t what other people see. At my last job I went from seeing myself as a competent, intelligent person but by the end of it I saw myself as Sheldon Cooper lost in Harlem at midnight. What I wanted to know wasn’t how I thought of myself, but how objectively, not subjectively, to fix all the problems listed at the beginning of this blog. My performance evaluation is on my record as an objective document. In any case, that’s a subject I’ll have to think further on and get help from.

But how do I think of myself? This illustration from my new calendar’s August spread states it succinctly:

It also means that I love myself when I’m performing awesomely. Self-love is proportional to success.