Yesterday, I returned a call I missed from Dr. Neuropsychologist. While I was driving to work, he diagnosed me with Asperger’s.

So there it is. Asperger’s. A non-surprise, but a shock all the time.

I called work to tell people there I could not come in because I was just diagnosed, and was pretty much shaking uncontrollably and hyperventilating. I mean, it is a relief, but when it’s real, it’s real. I couldn’t tell you how I felt, it seemed like I felt everything. Feelings are hard to verbalize.

Then my sister took off work to hang out with me and to figure out things, like if I lost my employment, the future, etc. This is because the whole reason I ended up with this diagnosis was because I couldn’t do my job in some basic ways: being socially aware, writing too long of notes, being unclear, etc. etc. etc. I am still bitter than I have been receiving such harsh treatment over the past 5 months, with negative feedback cloaked in “constructive feedback” every week. No mention of anything “right” that I did. No mention that I created hard drive space, created informational spreadsheets, helped with tech-related issues (“How do I get this to work?” every single day), make their printer work again by figuring out the network cable, none of that. It is no wonder I got depressed and demoralized.

I told the Disability Director that I was diagnosed, and she spammed me, really wanted to meet with me. I was scared because what else is going to happen? So my sister and I both went to meet her, and my sister is a Type A personality who is an account executive which means she interacts (er, kindly bullies in a persuasive way) with people for a living. If you want anyone in your corner, it’s my sister with her claws out and her brain-mouth firing at full speed. She is a force of nature with both words and voice. One does not piss off my sister and expect to escape unscathed.

So I got a new job. A creative, techy, learn-on-the-fly job.

After I went home, I learned that my ex-manager at my ex-job just up and fired the office manager but said that person had chosen to go somewhere else. No probationary period, no warnings. They fired her for “not doing a good job”, which of course, can be twisted up into paperwork if you’re looking hard enough for mistakes. Which is what happened to me. Then I was told that this has happened a lot in the past, where this workplace will “cleanse” the practice “of undesirables” suddenly, sneakily, underhandedly. It makes me sick that people can do this to other people.